There's a great scene in Pixar's 2007 film Ratatouille when the food obsessed Remy prepares the 'peasant' dish of Ratatouille for the impossible-to-please food critic Anton Ego. Upon tasting, Ego is transported back to his childhood at the dinner table as his mother offers the same dish to ease the worry of the young Anton.
A memory of food can be so strong as to transcend you to the past.
So can sights, sounds and smells.
The sight of your girlfriend on prom night.
The sound of welcoming rain on the roof.
The smell of a new born baby's head.
But these senses can also take us to dark places.
The sound of the slap across a face; a bruised eye; the smell of alcohol on the breath.
These emotion-triggering moments transport us to places never forgotten.
(Anton Ego after tasting the plate of Ratatouille)
The truth is, we have less control over our thoughts, feelings, memories, sensations and urges than we think.
Try making your left leg go numb; trying forgetting the first glimpse of your now partner; try not completing the sentence: twinkle, twinkle little____.
In reality, our thoughts can't be deleted, eliminated or removed and memories, thoughts and feelings - particularly unhelpful ones - will show up repeatedly over our lives when we least expect it.
The thing is we don't need to spend a lifetime running from them.
They aren't out to 'get us' - in fact if you listen carefully enough emotions can be wisdom to our ears.
Our emotions alert us to things we need to attend to that are important to us. Embracing them allows us to shine a light on our deepest needs and wants.
For example:
Fear is the need for safety and protection; befriending fear can help to motivate us. This is the brain and body alerting us to a challenge.
Anger is the need to defend what we believe, setting our boundary, our mind trying to keep us safe.
Sadness is the need for rest and recuperation after loss.
Guilt is the need to treat others with respect and to repair social bonds.
Love is the need for connection, intimacy, bonding, caring, and sharing.
Betrayal is yearning for trust and intimacy.
Shame is the need for social acceptance and connection to those we love.
Depression is the need to live in the here and now rather than in the past and the future.
Anxiety is the need to turn fear into your ally.
These are all messages baring gifts.
So, pick an emotion you're dealing with at the moment and ask yourself:
What does this emotion say I need to address, deal with, focus on or face up to?
If your emotion could speak, what advice would it give you?
Once we change our relationship with our emotions, only then will they become a source of energy and motivation to truly live a more meaningful life and be the person we wish to be.
I know that's advice which is hard to swallow but it's worth savouring.
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